Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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