It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
