i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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