My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
