Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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