So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
