im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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