6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
