Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
