Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
