You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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