Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
third nipple confirmed
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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