I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...