i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss