Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

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  (707): I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it. http://tfl.nu/citx
  Replies (27) Good night (647) Bad night (2144)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  will power is for people who don't want to get laid

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  (773): will power is for people who don't want to get laid http://tfl.nu/uala
  Replies (22) Good night (4023) Bad night (771)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.

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  (646): I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York. http://tfl.nu/ptqc
  Replies (34) Good night (7781) Bad night (706)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young

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  (815): its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young http://tfl.nu/hsw4
  Replies (7) Good night (2424) Bad night (838)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?

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  (252): she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her? http://tfl.nu/iav7
  Replies (14) Good night (5173) Bad night (1146)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.

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  (503): He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis. http://tfl.nu/tjtk
  Replies (4) Good night (1244) Bad night (1868)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.

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  (601): Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog. http://tfl.nu/t7wp
  Replies (7) Good night (2385) Bad night (614)
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  (925): View more from California

  I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great

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  (925): I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great http://tfl.nu/slai
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (786)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.

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  (623): One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID. http://tfl.nu/bopy
  Replies (2) Good night (1171) Bad night (271)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.

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  (330): Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors. http://tfl.nu/c683
  Replies (0) Good night (495) Bad night (231)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...

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  (330): Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat... http://tfl.nu/3sal
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (279)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."

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  (270): I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester." http://tfl.nu/tgsd
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (221)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.

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  (304): Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination. http://tfl.nu/22p5
  Replies (4) Good night (395) Bad night (190)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.

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  (616): We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that. http://tfl.nu/hngl
  Replies (8) Good night (490) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?

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  (914): wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night? http://tfl.nu/0iz6
  Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (603)

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