My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
