dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize