I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
