The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
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you didnt know i had herpes?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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