so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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