just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
