I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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