people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
