It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize