My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
