This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
