Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
did i just pee glitter
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
