ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
