at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
