...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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