I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
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Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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