So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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