i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize