i just had sex bonerless
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
