Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
