just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
