If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
