we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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