Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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