i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize