I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Just cropdusted the office
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
