am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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