A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize