i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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