Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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