Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
