No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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