I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
