my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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