i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
