the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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