You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
