I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
the raccoons are back...
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