You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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