I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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