that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
