Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
