The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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