The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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