im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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