Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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