problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize