The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
