wake up i wanna do it froggy style
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
