I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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