The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
