rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
